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Husband-Wife Jokes in English

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Husband-Wife Jokes in English

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Welcome to husband-wife jokes in English, a hub for all the husband-wife jokes that you can think of. A place where you can find ample of hilarious and hilarious content about husband-wife jokes.

Husband-Wife Jokes in English

1. Husband Wife Joke conversation while buying vegetable

A joke about a Husband-Wife written on a purple background with a laughing emoji.
This is a joke about a wife and husband chatting while buying vegetables. We have written this joke in a fantastic image you can use as your WhatsApp status or share with friends.

Patni sabji lete samay apne  pati se boli,

Patni – 2 kilo matar le lu ?

Pati – le lo isme rai lene ki kya baat hai…

Patni – Me tumhari rai nahi maang rhi hu,
puch rhi hu,
kya tum inte matar chil loge aaj shaam ??

Pati Behosh 

2. Wife Encouraging Husband To Drink Everyday

A joke about a Husband-Wife written on a orange background with a shocked emoji and thumps up sign.
This is a joke about a wife encouraging her husband to drink daily. We have written this joke in a fantastic image you can use as your WhatsApp status or share with friends.

Patni – Suno Ji Aaj Se Tum Rojana Sharab Piya Kro

Pati – Waah!! Par Kyu ?

Patni – Kyunki jab aap nashe me hote ho tab aap Jyada Kam Karte Ho…

Pati – Me Kuch Samjha Nahi , tum kahna kya chahti ho?

Patni – Are Jab tum kal Sharab pikar ghar aaye to nashe me saare gande pade bartan dho dale aur to aur… Aapne Mere Pao Bhi Dabaye.

3. Wife’s Reaction to Husband’s Accident

A joke about a Husband-Wife written on an orange-black background with a shocked & laughing emoji with a laugh out loud hen.
This is a joke about a wife’s reaction to her husband’s reaction accident. You will be surprised to see what the wife truly cares about in this hilarious joke.

Patni Ne Apne Pati Ko Phone Lagaya

Patni – Kaha Ho tum? Office Pahuch Gaye Kya?

Pati – Are Mera Car Se Accident Ho Gya Hai. Meri Tang Tut Gyi Hai!!! Bahot dard me hu, Hospital Ja Rha Hu.

Patni – Achha Thik Hai, Jao. Suno, zara Tifin Ka Dhyan Rkhna Teda Na Ho Jaye Nahi To Daal Gir Jayegi.

4. Friends discussing the meaning of Husband

This is a joke about two friends discussing the meaning of Husband. It is a unique meaning that you would have never even thought about.

Ek Ladki Apni Saheli Se Boli “Bahan Yah Husband Kya Hota Hai.”

Saheli – Bahan Ye Ek Vishesh Prkar ka Band Hai, Jise sirf or sirf Belan Se Hi Bajaya Jata Hai, Sabse Khas Baat Yah Hai Ki. Iski Awaj Ghar Ke Andar Tak Hi Rahti Hai. Aur to Aur Itna Bajane Ke Baad Bhi Yah Hansta Hi Rahta Hai or kabhi sheekayat nahi karta. Isliye Ise “Husband” Kahte Hain :p

5. Husband asking the reason for Wife’s Illness

A joke about a Husband asking his wife about her illness written on an orange background with Gandhi's monkeys.
This is a joke about the wife’s response to why she is so sad. This joke has an attractive image you can use as your WhatsApp status or share with friends.

Patni Udas Baithi thi.

Pati – Tabiyat thik nahi hai kya aaj tumhari?Doctor ko dikha lo.

Patni(Udas hoke) – dikhaya tha doctor ko kal mene

Pati – kya bataya usne ?

Patni – bol rha tha ki …
Mere Blood me shopping ki kami hai, Thoda mall vagehra ghum kar aao, Mood badlega to thik ho jaogi.

6. Husband on Weird Taste of Daal

A joke about a Husband asking his wife about the weird taste of Dal written on a purple background with many curious emojis.
This is a joke about the husband’s curiosity about Daal’s weird taste. The joke image can also be used as your whats app status image or shared with friends.

Pati – Aaj daal me kuch bahot ajib si gandh aa rhi hai

Patni – Arey vo mene aaj isme dhaniya, pudina, kali mirch daal ke banayi hai.

Pati (daal khake) – thu thu!! Ye kya hai!! dhaniya, pudina, kali mirch kaha se layi thi tum?

Patni – aare muje bajar jane ka samay hi nahi mila isliye mene.. “Patanjali Toothpaste” mila diya usme sare gun hain na isiliye.

7. Wife Remembers first Meeting with Husband.

A joke about a wife remembering the first meeting with her husband written on a sky-blue background with laughing emojis and cute rabbit.
This is a joke about the wife remembering the first meeting with her husband. We have written this joke in a fantastic image you can use as your WhatsApp status or share with friends.

Patni – Suniye aap aaj hi ke din muje dekhne aaye the na mere ghar

Pati – yaad nahi h mujhe

Patni(sharmate hue) – aapko yaad hai mene us din kaun se color ki saadi phn rkhi thi

Pati – nahi pata mujhe

Patni – aapko mujhse jara bhi pyar nahi hai

Pati –  suno tum, jab koi aadmi train ki patri par marne jata hai to ye thode hi dekhta hai ki gadi kaun se color ki aayegi,

Patni – Bekwas karti ho tum bhi.

8. Husband has a unique reason for his wife to be a goat.

A joke about why Husband wants his wife to be a goat written on a white background with different laughing emojis.
This is a joke about why the husband wants her wife to be a goat. We have written this joke in a fantastic image you can use as your WhatsApp status or share with friends.

Pati –  Ek baat batao tum itna kyu chillati ho

Patni (gusse se) – kyuki har bar galti tum hi karte ho

Pati – kash tu ek bakri hoti

Patni – to fir kya karte ?

Pati – fir me tujhse puchta ki, bata kaun jyada galti karta hai, aur tum chilla chilla ke bolti –
“maii…maiinnn..maiiii…”

9. Husband tackles her angry wife.

A joke about why how a Husband tackles his angry wife written on a white background with different laughing emojis.
This is a joke about how a husband tackles her angry wife. The joke image is eye-catching and can be used for various purposes.

Pati aur patni me ladai ho gyi, Patni ruthkar mayke chali gyi
Bechare pati ne darte hue use phone kiya…

Pati – janu muje maaf kar do, wapas aajao na, gussa chord do abhi

Patni – phle jra kitchen se ek glass lao, aur use jamin par patak do

Pati – Chalo tumhare liye mene, patak diya

Patni – ab jo kanch ke tukde hain unko fir se jod sakte ho kya ?

Pati – Jodne ki jarurat hi nahi hai darling, glass tuta hi nahi hai kyunki glass steal ka tha

hahahahah.

10. Husband Wife Discussing Daughter’s Marriage Prospects

A joke about why how a Husband tackles his angry wife written on a purple background with a pandoras open box.
This is a joke about the wife and husband discussing their daughter’s marriage prospects. We have written this joke in a fantastic image you can use as your WhatsApp status or share with friends.

Patni – Beti badi ho gyi hai uski shadi kar do

Pati – mene ladka dekh rakha hai

Patni – ladka kya karta hai

Pati – ladka P.A hai

Patni – kya ladka piye hai

Pati – are nahi ladka bank me P.A. hai

Patni – tab to bilkul bi me shadi nahi hone dungi, badmash bank me bhi piye hai 

Parting Words

So, here are some of the best, funniest husband-wife jokes in English. If you want to share with your friends, then you can copy and paste the joke or use these attractive images.

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